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Inspiration and Relationships

Nothing Bundt Cakes, REALLY!

lemonSeveral months ago I was on my way to one of my favorite places, Nothing Bundt Cakes, and when I got out my car, I noticed this guy standing in the parking lot to my left. As I approached the store, he was standing still, watching me, and he stated, “hello, I was waiting for you to get out of your car.” Being the nice person that I am, I said “okay, great, thanks, hello”, and I kept walking. He kept talking, about what, I have no idea, because I kept walking. Then he asked me my name, we proceeded to talk and again he stated, “I was waiting on you to get out of your car so I can talk to you” and as nicely as I could, I said “OK” and I started laughing. He asked me if I was going into Nothing Bundt Cakes and I said yes, and he said “well let me buy your first cake” and I said “okay no problem”, and started laughing again.

So he comes into Nothing Bundt Cakes after he ordered his food from another place and while we waited, we talked and laughed and it was all good. I was actually proud of myself because I stepped out of my comfort zone……I don’t usually talk to strangers, LOL.

I got my lemon Bundt cake that I absolutely loveee, said thank you and proceeded to walk out of the store. Wellllllllllll, this is where everything went left……We were walking out of the store he says to me, “you have to get my number and we have to go out”, on the inside I was like, wait, hold on, really, for real, “do I have to get your number, do we have to go out?’ But I kept it cool, and I laughed as usual and as politely as I could, I said, “okay, alright” and I started laughing again. He says “my name is Mr. XXXXXX”(not going to say his last name), and you need to get to know me,” and I said “huh, what”, and he says again, “my name is Mr. XXXXXX, you need to get to know me, and you can call me Mr. XXXXXX until you EARN the right to call me by my first name”, and he was serious and did not have a smile on his face. So, I just looked at him, like, REALLY……..

Now for a moment, I almost slipped back into the old me that has been buried so deep and is on lock down….I couldn’t believe what I had just heard, surely I was being set up.  So I decided to handle him and the situation differently, but I did have a few choice words going through my head, but I was like nahhhhh, I’m not going to waste those words on him, because then I would have to go repent, and I said, “he’s not worth it.” So, I said to him, laughing at the same time, “until I earn the right to call you by your first name” and this dude said yes, I was like “REALLY, hummmmm, interesting, I guess.”  Then he goes left again, and says to ME, and I quote, “I expect to receive a phone call from you today before I go to work”, now I’m really laughing, like almost rolling on the floor laughing, because I’m like, REALLY, you didn’t just go there with ME, hummmmm, I laughed, looked at him and said, “it was good meeting you and thanks for my lemon bundt cake.”

Now, when I got in my car, I said, “the nerve of him”, “how dare him”, and then I began to think that this was not the first time he had done this; he was to comfortable and confident. I began to wonder how many women had he spoken to in this manner, how many women had called him, and how many women had gone out with him, in spite of his demanding attitude and cockiness.  All I could do was shake my head…….but, I did learn some things. Here are 5 things I learned from this:

  1. Don’t be afraid to walk away.
  2. Don’t be afraid to say, “no thank you, I don’t want your number.”
  3. Don’t be afraid to say, “it was good meeting you, but I have to go.”
  4. Don’t be afraid to say, “no, I don’t want your number, because I’m not going to call you.”
  5. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

So the next time you meet someone, don’t be afraid to step out your comfort zone, but also, don’t be afraid to look at him sideways when the conversation goes left, LOL. Seriously, remember these five points and don’t be afraid to use them. Nothing Bundt Cakes, REALLY!

About the Author

Dr. LaWanda N. EvansDr. LaWanda N. Evans empowers and encourages women to love themselves, make healthy relationship decisions, and embrace positive changes in life that lead to happiness and improvement in their emotional and mental health. She encourages women to believe in themselves, to reach their full potential, to achieve their goals, provides practical solutions for dealing with relationship issues, and helps them identify and overcome obstacles that impact their personal and professional growth, develop, and success. Dr. Evans specializes in helping women overcome unhealthy relationship patterns and relationship struggles, avoid relationship pitfalls, and teaches women how to overcome hurt and let go of the past to embrace and make room for the relationship God has for them. She helps women decrease, manage, and overcome depression and stress, become emotionally and mentally healthy, and builds their self-esteem and self-confidence. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, National Certified Counselor, Relationship Strategist, Speaker, Contributing Expert Writer for marriage.com, Advocate for Youth Suicide Prevention, and owner of LNE Unlimited - Counseling and Emotional Wellness and the creator of The Truth About Your Relationship. Dr. Evans transforms the lives of women through counseling, coaching, speaking, and writing.View all posts by Dr. LaWanda N. Evans »

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